Creating the Life I Deserve

Well, well, well. Here I am; blogging. Who would've thunk it.....A little back ground on me. I grew up overweight. Anyone who grew up overweight knows how awful it is. It's a very lonely place. I used to pray to God every night to make me skinny when I wake up and He didn't. I used to be so angry with Him. When I was in high school, I began to date. I remember my first boyfriend being picked on by a friend of his because he was dating me and he could have had this other girl who was slimmer. Needless to say, he and I didn't last. I did date another guy while in high school, but that didn't last long. After high school, I met my first love. He really showed me what real love was because he truly loved me for me. When he and I dated, I was a size 20! He was so sweet and he thought that I was beautiful. He eventually enlisted in the military and that was the end of that. A few years later, I lost my father, and after losing my dad, I decided I was sick of being fat and joined Weight Watchers. I went to the meetings weekly and worked out. I had great success! I lost about 40 lbs and wore a size 12! I couldn't believe it. The last time I was in a size 12 was when I was in the 5th grade! I hit a plateau and since I just couldn't lose any more weight and no one would help me get past the plateau, I stopped attending the meetings. I was able to keep the weight off for about 5 years or so. I also met the love of my life (who I married last year). He's so wonderful! He says I’m beautiful and loves me no matter what. Then a couple of years ago, the weight started to come back along with some other weird things. I would black out after getting out of bed in the morning or I get dizzy after squatting. I was soooooooo tired in the afternoon. I mean REALLY tired. I would feel like I had taken a sleeping pill (I've never taken a sleeping pill, but I imagined that's what it would feel like). I also noticed this lump on the front, right-side of my neck (I was told it’s a cyst in my thyroid and that my thyroid test were normal). And I was putting on weight like crazy. I've been going to the doctor for about 3 years trying to find out what was wrong. I'd been told so many things. I was first diagnosed with Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome. I was taking supplements for that and was told to not workout (before I was working out like a mad woman and was not losing weight and the workouts would make me more exhausted). After taking the supplements for several months, I was referred to another doctor who thought the Adrenal diagnosis was crazy and started testing me all over again. To make a long story short, I may have POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). I have one more test and we'll know for sure. Any who, with all the testing and “the don't work out”, “no, do work out”, you have this, no you have that; I'm almost at my starting weight (I've lost 6 lbs now :) ). I have started using SparkPeople to track my calories and am doing ChaLean Extreme in the morning and 30 minutes of cardio in the evening and so far, it's not making me really tired. Also, I created a spread sheet to automatically calculate my macro nutrients so I'm eating the right amount of macro-ratios for my body (I'm doing a 30,40,30 of proteins, carbs and fats).



This blog is going to be about more than my weight loss. On top of losing the weight, I want to create the life I deserve to have. I've realized that I have allowed my weight to hold me back. I don't want to just exist in this life, I want to LIVE. So here are a few things that I plan on achieving: being at my goal weight on or before 10/07/2010 (losing 2lbs a week and following my workout schedule); Completing my personal training and fitness nutrition courses (by reading/studying nightly) by 11/1/2010 (I want to help others lose weight); Get organized and stay organized (by this weekend and beyond); Get my business (MLA ImageSolutions) up and running and not being afraid of failing. Well, those are a few things that I want to accomplish and now the WORLD knows it. Pretty soon I'll post some progress photos. Come and join me! What is it you want to accomplish but haven't? This life is not a rehearsal; once we're gone, we're gone. Let's make it happen and begin to really LIVE!!